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05/04/2009
A laff. Swine 'Flu.
Three areas of historic burnt out cars were disturbed. Many locals were woken well before their giros arrived.
The Bay FM reported that hundreds of residents were confused and bewildered and were still trying to come to terms with the fact that something interesting had happened in Lancaster. One resident - Tracy Sharon Smith, a 15-year-old mother of 5 said, "It was such a shock, my little Chardonnay-Mercedes come running into my bedroom crying. My youngest two, Tyler-Morgan and Victoria-Storm slept through it all. I was still shaking when I was skinning up and watching Jeremy Kyle the next morning."
Apparently looting, muggings and car crime were unaffected and carried on as normal. The British Red Cross has so far managed to ship 4,000 crates of Sunny Delight to the area to help the stricken locals.
Rescue workers are still searching through the rubble and have found large quantities of personal belongings, including benefit books, jewellery from Elizabeth Duke at Argos and Bone China from Poundland.
This appeal is to raise money for food and clothing parcels for those unfortunate enough to be caught up in this disaster.
Clothing is most sought after - items most needed include:
Nike or Burberry baseball caps
Kappa tracksuit tops (his and hers)
Shell suits (female)
White sport socks
Rockport boots and any other items usually sold in Primark.
Food parcels may be harder to come by, but are needed all the same.
Required foodstuffs include:
Microwave meals, Tins of baked beans, Ice cream, Cans of Colt 45 or Special Brew.
22p buys a biro for filling in the compensation forms..
£2 buys chips, crisps and blue fizzy drinks for a family of 9.
£5 buys B&H cigarettes and a lighter to calm the nerves of those affected.
***Breaking news***
Rescue workers found a girl in the rubble smothered in raspberry alco-pop.
'Where are you bleeding from?' they asked, "London" said the girl, "wossit gotta do wiv you?"
Please don't forward this to anyone living in Lancaster - oh, sod it... they won't be able to read it anyway
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20:11 Posted in General Chat. | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email this | Tags: jokes, swine'flu, earthquake, lancaster
05/01/2009
Earthquake. Small. Lancaster.
On Tuesday, well I think it was, about 11:20am we had a little earthquake. It was about 3.7 on the Richter scale.
To us it seemed that there had been a collision with a lorry. I didn't see anything move but himdownstairs did and so did my niece in Morecambe.
I know of 2 others which passed me by in years gone by and only knew of them as people asked me if the earth had moved for me!!
Anyway since then the weather has been quite cool. I thought it was getting warmer but I was wrong.
May 1st. Time is flying past for me now.
Son, wife and son have moved into their new home. Bless them, I hope they settle in well. Spent their first night in it last night.
There are jokes going around about the Swine 'Flu already. First symptoms, you come out in a rasher and feel pig sick. That is the first joke, there will be more!
Son just rung from new home... settled in and they have a long weekend to find stuff they have packed. His Missus on call and hopefully might not be too busy.
All the best peeps. x
21:28 Posted in Lancaster. | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email this | Tags: lancaster, life, weather, etc